Everyone knows that beer is good for drinking. Humankind has been brewing and guzzling down this drinkable delicacy for thousands of years. But if humans can find mind-boggling alternate uses for everything from petroleum to drones, it only makes sense that we would have found at least a couple of different alternate uses for beer. If you're bored of just drinking beer and wish you could do something else with those 12-packs stacked up in the corner of your garage, here are some things you didn't know beer can do. Beer can do what, now? From polishing your furniture to destroying kidney stones, it can do a whole lot more than quench your thirst on a summer afternoon.
Whip Up Some Delicious Eats
You can use a can or two to create a delicious batch of beer bread; but bread isn't the only delectable treat you can whip up with a bit of beer. Beer can be used as an ingredient in just about any kind of dish. It's perfect for incorporating subtle touch of boozy flavor to soup, chicken, rice, and heck, even mayonnaise. The next time you think your lunch could use a little je nais se quois, reach for the beer instead of the salt and pepper shakers.
Smash Kidney Stones
Do you have a kidney stone that's been hanging around too long for your liking? If you want that sucker out, and you want it out now, the ever-reliable beer might be able to lend you a helping hand. Beer is a diuretic. This means it dilates the tubes connecting the kidneys and bladder, which makes passing unwanted kidney stones faster and easier. Because downing a couple beers will make you woozy, it can even help dull the inevitable pain of the process.
Posh and Polished
Do you have a wooden table that's seen better days or want to surprise your mother or a loved one by sprucing up one of their dingy-but-beloved pieces of jewelry? Rubbing furniture and jewelry with a generous helping of stale beer can restore them to their former glory. The acidity of the beer removes rust and other imperfections and brings back the original coloration of wood and metal. You can also use cans of soda or lemon juice to accomplish the same thing, since the acidity levels of these liquids are virtually identical to beer.
Bring Some Green To Your Yard
Is your yard struggling? There are brown spots everywhere, and everything you plant—whether grass, flowers, or shrubs—withers and dies, almost as if there's an inexplicable nature-destroying hex on your land. Thankfully, beer can solve all your curse-related problems.
Spraying a home brewed beer or Rolling Rock on your lawn is a surefire way to transform murky browns to vibrant greens—the plants will absorb the sugar in the beer and transform it into energy. It's a lot like giving a toddler a bunch of candy and watching them run around and do cartwheels afterward. Beer gives plants the energy to grow, leading to a fuller and brighter lawn.
Navigate the Wilderness
This might sound bizarre but take a gander at this imaginary scenario. You're lost in the woods, and the only things you have on you are a can of beer, a needle, an empty chip bowl, and the clothes on your back. You need to find a way out of the forest if you want to survive... but how, exactly? By making a beer compass, of course!
Pour your beer into the chip bowl and wait for it to go flat. In the meantime, take the needle and rub it against your shirt in one direction—eventually, the static from the cloth will magnetize it. Float the needle in the bowl of beer, and would you look at that—a working compass. Grab your boozy compass and trek northward to civilization!
Stave Off Dragon's Breath
Not real dragon's breath, and not the plant, dessert, or ammunition, either. We're talking about good, old-fashioned fire. If you lit an accidental blaze in your kitchen or need to douse a massive bonfire before you and the rest of your camping buddies head to bed, you can use beer to quench the blazing flames. Just like water, beer is a liquid, and just about any type of wet and runny substance will do for vanquishing fire—except for oil and gasoline.
Stain-Be-Gone
Another thing you didn’t know beer can do is outperform bleach when it comes to removing stains. Have a stubborn coffee stain on your shirt that refuses to come out? Dump a can of beer on it. You might be thinking—isn't that just going to create another stain? Weirdly enough, no. When it comes to coffee stains, beer is one of the best cleaning agents there is.
Pour a little bit on the stain, give it a minute to settle, and then gently rub the beer into the cloth. Presto! Like magic, the stain is gone.
Squeaky Clean
Do you think regular baths are boring? You're not alone. There's nothing fun about sitting in soapy, sudsy water and staring mindlessly at the wall, wishing it was a flat screen television airing the latest sports game. But what if you could add some excitement to the dreary process of keeping clean?
If you have plenty of beer to spare, pour it into the bathtub and enjoy a nice and relaxing soak in your favorite drink. A bath full of white vinegar and dark beer is a lot more exciting and fragrant than a bath full of water. It's also hugely beneficial to your health. The bacteria-filled yeast and acidic hops contain a handful of beneficial nutrients that will soak into your skin and hair, making them look and feel healthier.
Beer can make your skin and hair look flawless. To match your brand-new 'do and impressive complexion, come pick up one of Greater Half's patriotic jerseys, and maybe an accessory or two while you're at it. With your perfect skin, new hairstyle, and a fashionable and comfortable outfit, you'll make a statement wherever you go.
